Sanity is Relative (or Detective Who)
by DetectiveLion
Summary: "You put a mysterious blue box slap-bang in the middle of town, what do they do? Walk past it." -Is what the Doctor said. Really, the he should have known better. It was only a matter of time before they found someone who doesn't just walk by…
1. The Mysterious Blue Box

"_You put a mysterious blue box slap-bang in the middle of town, what do they do? Walk past it." _

-Is what the Tenth Doctor said. Really, the he should have known better. It was only a matter of time before they found someone who _doesn't_ just walk by…

* * *

Okay. There was a big blue 1963 London Police Box sitting in the middle of town. He could deal with that. The only problem was that this was _Japan_ of the _21__st__ century_ and that thing had most certainly _not_ been there the day before.

Something was definitely strange about that.

He had tried asking around. Most people glanced at it and exclaimed, 'Oh, I hadn't noticed that before!" then continued walking. The detective grimaced. Was he the _only one _who thought this thing in the middle of Beika City was unusual? Really? He feared for the human race.

So of course, the tiny detective took it upon himself to explore the mysterious Police Box. No one paid the bespectacled boy any mind as he scurried in circles, searching for anything that might clue him in to its purpose here. Nothing. He glanced at the door to the box, then gripped its handle and pulled. The doors swung open, and he stepped inside.

Before he could even look around, they slammed shut again. Conan spun around to gape at the now-closed doors. He tried to push them open, to no avail. They had locked. God dammit, this was just what he needed. Maybe the telephone would still be in use… No, that was just stupid. With a groan, he turned around—

Oh. My. God.

"It's bigger on the inside," he murmured faintly. He walked forward, gripping the rails of the machine. A huge mess of levers and buttons and flashing lights rose up from the floor. He swallowed, walking down the steps and around the device, never taking his eyes off of it. "How… How the _hell is this possible?"_

Then he bolted. He ran up the stairs and to the doors, beating small fists against the wood, rattling them, even turning on his shoes and trying to kick it open. The machine didn't budge. He was trapped.

"Okay," he said to himself, finding comfort in hearing _something_ other than the beeping of machinery. "Okay, Kudo, calm down. You need to find another way out of here." He glanced at the controls. None of the buttons were labeled. There was no instruction manual on How to Operate a Physics-Defying Police Box.

What he did find was a hallway, which in turn branched off into a hundred _other_ hallways. So, likeliness was he was going to get lost in here and end up starving to death. Maybe Hattori would see this thing the next time he came to Tokyo and find his rotting corpse.

This was too much. Conan slid down the wall, hugging his knees to his chest. He closed his eyes and just breathed.

According to his watch, only twenty minutes passed before the doors to the Police Box opened again. A laughing voice said, "And what is _this?_"

"Octopus. A bit rubbery, but delicious nonetheless."

The laughter only grew louder. "This… _definitely_ beats chips. And I think I'm hooked on the ramen here. I'm telling you, Doctor, if I get fat you're going to pay."

"I'll take my chances. I myself am partial to the Takoyaki in Osaka. You can get it in Tokyo, of course, but _nothing_ beats Osakan Takoyaki. Well, except those candies from… ah, where was it again? Began with an 'A'… Never mind. Eat quickly, Rose! We're off!"

Then suddenly there was a loud, grinding noise. Lights flickered dimly from the console room. The man was shouting, "Hold that lever, Rose! No, not that one, the one—yes! Hold on!"

There was more laughter from the girl. Then suddenly the ground lurched beneath him. Conan yelped as he tumbled, skidding into the room and hitting his head against the rail.

"Doctor, did you hear that?" He heard footsteps, and suddenly someone loomed in his blurry vision. A blob of gold hovered over him. "It's a kid!"

"How did he get in?"

"Hey, kid. Are you alright?"

He blinked until his vision cleared. The blob turned into a face framed by blond hair. A young woman looked down at him with concern. He jumped up suddenly, making her step back, and glanced around wildly. A man off to the side was gazing suspiciously at him. Neither of them seemed to be a threat, though, and the girl had even expressed concern. Not relaxing, he asked, "Who are you?"

"I'm Rose," she replied, kneeling down to eye level. "What's your name."

He hesitated. "Edogawa Conan," he finally told her. "And who's that?"

The man seemed to recover, suddenly brightening and striding towards him in long steps. "I'm the Doctor," he announced, and suddenly seized his hand to shake it. "Nice to meet you, Edogawa Conan! Or is it Conan Edogawa? Last name first in Japan, right?" Without waiting for a reply, he released Conan's hand and began to pace.

"Now, Conan Edogawa, I can't help but wonder how you came across my TARDIS, and how you got inside."

Conan scowled at the man. "What the hell is a TARDIS?"

"The Police Box," Rose said helpfully.

He gave a nod of thanks to her before closing his eyes and leaning back. "I saw a 1963 London Police Box in the middle of Tokyo. That's a bit _odd,_ if you know what I mean." Rose stifled a giggle. "And getting inside wasn't that hard. I just pulled the doors open and they locked behind me."

The Doctor furrowed his brow. "You found it odd?" He asked. Conan nodded. "And then you _investigated?"_

"It wasn't there yesterday," he deadpanned.

"Brilliant!" He suddenly exclaimed. "You, Conan Edogawa, are the _first_ human to investigate my TARDIS. **(1)**"

"There goes my faith in humanity," he sighed. "Now can you let me out?"

Suddenly he didn't like the look in the Doctor's eye. "What did you do?" He asked. Without waiting for him to answer, the boy ran for the doors. This time they gave when he pushed them open. And his jaw just about dropped.

"Right. This is one of the many jungles of India. About… oh, I'd say three centuries before your time." He turned to the Doctor who was now wearing a broad smile. "Welcome to the TARDIS. That is Time and Relative Dimension in Space." He walked outside, followed by Rose and a stunned Conan, and patted the Police Box proudly. "She can travel anywhere. Any time, any place on any planet within this universe."

The detective blinked, took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. The jungle was still there. "How is this possible?" He rasped. "How is _any of this_ possible!"

"Don't ask," Rose grumbled. "He tried explaining it once and I had a headache for days after."

"So," the Doctor said breezily, walking towards Conan with his hands behind his back. "How would you like to travel through space and time, Edogawa? Anywhere you want, I can take you."

"Hang on," Rose cut in. "He's just a kid. You're, what, six? Seven?"

"But he's more than a kid, Rose! He didn't just walk past the mysterious blue box—he questioned it! He went to investigate! He's supposed to be here—the TARDIS herself _let him in._" He gripped the girl by the shoulders, shaking her lightly. Then he released her and leaped back, spreading his arms. "Conan Edogawa, Rose Tyler and yours truly traveling through the universe in the TARDIS. Fantastic!"

Conan blinked. He shook his head, utterly lost, and suddenly began to laugh. It was loud and slightly hysterical, and he knew it. "This is _insane." _He leaned against the TARDIS, covering his eyes with an arm. Then, after taking a deep breath, he looked at the Doctor. "Will I be able to meet Arthur Conan Doyle?"

"Of course!" He grinned. "Author of Sherlock Holmes. Does that mean you're in?"

Conan opened his mouth. Before he could get a word out, the very earth shook beneath their feet. All three toppled to the ground with varying noises. Conan ended up on his back. "…The sky is red," he commented after a moment.

"Huh. That it is." The Doctor stood up, helped Rose to her feet, and began to dust himself off. "Well, that's ominous."

And then he took off running. Rose laughed. "Welcome to the club!" She called, then began to give chase.

* * *

**Not sure if this is true. I've only watched seasons 1 and 2, and have started 3, of the latest Doctor Who series.**

**So welcome to Sanity is Relative, otherwise known to me as Detective Who! Not exactly my most creative title. This will be a series of connected oneshots taking place in an undetermined timeline where Rose is still around and traveling with our lovely Tenth Doctor. You can consider this as an AU or simply before the season 2 finale, whatever floats your boat. **

**By the way, this is my first time writing for DW. Please feel free to give me advice on the personalities of Rose and the Doctor, and point out any OOCness that may crop up.**

**As a side note, I was watching DW today. Halfway through a chase scene with some weird... thing... I realized I was just sitting there eating an apple strudel and burst out laughing.**


	2. Let's Learn About Ancient India

_**~And once again, Conan uses his endless supply of useless knowledge to his advantage~**_

* * *

The Doctor was gone.

Okay, that wasn't so bad. She'd been alone plenty of times. There was that one time with the Wire when she'd gotten her face stolen… and then on her first trip with the Doctor when she'd almost been burned to death… and then that time during World War II when she'd been dangling a few hundred feet over London…

So her track record of "alone" wasn't too great. Rose was sure that she'd be able to survive this, though. Chased by an ancient Indian war goddess? Pffft, that was nothing. Her mum could deal with that thing.

Well, perhaps not. But her mum _could_ bring the Doctor to his knees. There was only one problem, though, and that was…

"Conan! I said _run!"_

The boy continued gaping at the thirty-foot tall embodiment of death, destruction, life and creation that was currently living up to the "death and destruction" part of her name. With a groan, Rose darted forward and grabbed the child by the arm, lifting him into her arms and beginning to run. He barely reacted, only muttering in a dazed voice, "That's Kali. The war goddess."

"Yes. And she requested quite politely to be called 'Kal' before flinging the Doctor halfway across India. He'll be fine, by the way. Now be quiet and hold on!"

Perhaps it wasn't the best idea to speak in such a way to a seven year old child. Or perhaps it wasn't the best idea to take aforementioned child to _ancient India_ where _aliens_ disguised as _gods_ were waiting to rise up again and take over the world.

She was going to throttle the doctor until he regenerated, then throw him to her mum, and then kill him _again_. Already she had plans of buying pears on their next trip to London.

But for the moment she'd have to settle for running for her life. It was lucky the goddess was still sluggish from hibernation.

She winced as a metallic rasp resonated through the air. A glance over her shoulder told Rose what she had feared—the goddess had unsheathed her sword. The oversized blade sliced right through a tree, sending it toppling with a huge crash.

A bush snagged onto her pants and she felt the material tear—damn it, those were her good jeans—but kept running. Suddenly Conan began to move. "Put me down!" He yelled.

"What?"

"Put me down! You can run faster!" Without waiting for her, the boy struggled out of her grip and hit the ground running. To her surprise, the boy quickly overtook her, his short legs working at a full sprint. With her burden relieved, Rose found herself able to run with much more ease.

"This way!" Conan yelled. He turned into a small space that Rose had to slide through. Then the boy gave a yelp and a moment later she knew why. The ground dropped right out from beneath her feet. She gave a small scream as she slid, the dirt giving way to rock that her limbs clashed painfully against. Then they spun onto a flat surface and came to a stop.

For a while, the only sound was their raspy breathing. Her arms and legs throbbed, feeling warm were the rock had scraped against bare skin and made it bleed. Then Rose asked, "Did you know about that?"

"Not at all," Conan choked back. A light flicked on, shining in her eyes before dropping. Her heart skipped before she realized the beam came from his watch.

The light traveled along red-brown rock. The walls were unnaturally smooth, engraved with geometric designs. Across from them was a tunnel that lead into darkness. Conan glanced at her. "Should we—" He was cut off as the ground began to shake. They both froze, listening to Kali's enraged roar before the goddess continued on her way.

They waited until it was silent. "…Better than going back up," Rose finally said. Conan made a faint noise of agreement.

Their footsteps echoed in the cavern. Conan's light traveled along the walls, tracing over the flawlessly even walls. "This is incredible," the boy breathed. His voice rebounded upon them. "It must have taken years to finish this." His hand reached out to touch the wall in an almost revering way.

"You're taking this awfully well," Rose commented.

Immediately, the boy tensed. He turned to her with a giggle that sounded almost nervous. "W-well, I adapt pretty quickly," he explained hurriedly. "Though I have to admit, Indian gods are pretty new to me." He faced the walls again, staring hard at the carvings.

Rose smiled fondly. "You'll get used to it. It's pretty overwhelming at first, but you kind of _have_ to adjust if you're traveling with the Doctor."

"And what's with that, anyway?" She raised an eyebrow. Conan rubbed his forehead, continuing, "This whole 'Doctor' thing. He's no doctor, and I don't even know his name, and you all expect me to just drop everything and run off with you guys. This stuff isn't even supposed to be _real!"  
_

Rose winced a bit as he aimed a kick at the wall. For someone who had been practically worshiping the architecture minutes before, he didn't seem to care if he accidentally damaged ancient history. The denial was natural, though, even if the boy had already agreed to travel with them. She herself had been frozen when she first encountered on of the many oddities that seemed to follow the Doctor. "Come on, Conan," she coaxed. "I know it's hard. You're just a kid, and I really don't know what the Doctor is thinking but… I trust him. And if he says a seven year old should be on the TARDIS with us, then he's probably right. …Probably."

Conan gave a long sigh. "Never mind. I'll figure…" he waved his hand in a wide circle, _"this_ out later. Alright, so it's supposed to be Kali that's currently on a homicidal rampage up there, right?"

"Seems like it."

"Well, Kali is known for representing two sides of things, right? Life and death, destruction and creation. Some say that she doesn't just represent creation, but also acts as a 'mother' to her followers. Basically, her worshippers are her children."

Rose nodded slowly. "So why would she be attacking us, then? I mean, we're not exactly worshippers but…"

"She's still supposed to be a mother," Conan finished with a nod. He began to pace, brows furrowing. "There was a legend I've heard… Kali was supposedly 'born' from Durga to fight evil, a bit like how Athena was 'born' from Zeus's cracked skull in battle. However, she got carried away with her fighting and just began to destroy everything. In order to stop her, her husband, Shiva, threw himself beneath her feet and shocked her out of her rage."

The blond stared at him. Under her gaze, the Japanese boy seemed to grow uncomfortable. "I, um, I…"

Suddenly, she gave a laugh, seeming to startle Conan. "You sound just like the Doctor. You both know all these random things and just pull them out of the air whenever you need them." She shook her head in exasperation and fondness. "Maybe that's why he likes you. You're practically a miniature human Doctor."

Conan almost looked offended. "How am I like that lunatic?"

She waved him away. "You're a lot smarter than you look, Conan. So do you think that throwing ourselves at Kali's feet would fix this?"

Relaxing somewhat, the boy shrugged. "No idea. It's only a legend and—"

A clatter silenced him. They both froze and glanced at each other. After a pause, Conan shone his watch light into the tunnel, and they both waited with baited breath as a figure approached.

"There you are!" The Doctor cried. "I just met a group of natives that might be able to calm down Kali. See, we have to throw ourselves at her feet and she just might snap out of her rampage—"

He stopped short as Conan banged his head against the wall and Rose began to giggle.

"Was it something I said?"

* * *

**And so concludes the second chapter of Sanity is Relative. …That took a lot longer than I thought. See, I have a billion ideas for stuff to write, but they all take place later in the makeshift timeline I've created.**

**By the way, I am officially dubbing this as an AU seeing as I plan for Captain Jack to make a few appearances in this, which should not happen until season… 3 or 4. I forgot. **

**So once again, I feel a bit nervous as far as Rose's personality goes. I'm decently confident with the Doctor and Conan, but Rose always gives me trouble. I read her wiki page for reference, which gave me a few ideas for how she'll treat Conan. **


End file.
